The language is misleading. A person can say one thing and think something completely different, or consciously deceive his interlocutor with lies. However, fooling someone with body language is considerably more difficult, as much of it happens unconsciously. In many people, the gestures, facial expression and also the general posture clearly reveal what they are feeling. You just need to know how to interpret the signs.
The one who knows how to interpret body language correctly has an amazing advantage in communicating with other people. In this way you can adapt to the feelings of the person in front of you and more easily create an atmosphere of trusting conversation. This has a positive impact on both personal and professional life. At the same time, understanding nonverbal cues is the first step in deliberately using one’s own body language. In this context, it is not a question of consciously deceiving others, but of basing what we express with an authentic and confident attitude.
What is body language? Definition and meaning
Body language is the most important form of non-verbal communication, since facial expression, gestures and body posture are the most immediate expressions of our feelings. The reason for this is that most of these signals are emitted unconsciously. Above all, in emotional moments of joy, fear, anger or sadness it is almost impossible to control it.
However, there are also conscious body signals that can be deliberately used in communication. Arguments can be enhanced with hand gestures, facial expressions can signal a willingness to talk or a need for calm.
Conscious and unconscious body language
When we breathe impatiently, roll our eyes in annoyance, or purse our lips because we feel offended, we are revealing our feelings, even if we do so for a fraction of a second. In the same way, just as these signals are emitted unconsciously, they can also be read unconsciously. This is the reason why there are some people that we don’t like from the first moment, or that we are immediately passionate about without being able to say exactly why. We perceive body language while concentrating on what is being said or letting our thoughts run wild.
However, in addition to unconscious body signals, there are conscious body signals. These are trained and are marked by our cultural environment. We use them in appropriate situations to give a specific message or to support what we are saying. Some of the typical examples are the index finger raised to express “attention!”, the thumb raised to express approval or directing the palms of the hands to the person in front of us to take iron out of a situation or to mitigate an emotional outburst. However, care must be taken in these situations, as conscious body language must be read in the cultural context. A certain hand gesture can have completely different meanings on other continents or in other cultural circles.
Explanation of body language with examples
Body language and reading your cues play an important role in our daily communication. This communication is characterized by facial language, gestures, body posture and movements of a person. The following examples demonstrate how even the most insignificant movements reveal our positive vibes.
Facial expression
Facial expression encompasses all the movements that can be read on a person’s face. One of the most important signals of facial expression is the smile. It makes open communication with strangers possible, shows kindness, understanding and joy and is thus the perfect signal to start a conversation.
Emotions are transmitted, to a large extent, through the eyes and mouth, and the features of the face only intensify them. A look can denote interest, absence, affection, hatred, doubt, curiosity or fear, and we can perceive all of this in fractions of a second.
- Interest/curiosity: the eyes are awake and open and look calmly at the person who is talking or the object that is being talked about to absorb all the information in a concentrated way. But be careful: if direct eye contact lasts too long, other people quickly find it unpleasant or annoying.
- Disinterest: the eye scans the room or surroundings, pausing here and there and then on other people and other events. A completely unfocused gaze with no movement is a sign that someone has become self-absorbed and focused on their own thoughts.
- Surprise: the eyes widen sharply and the eyebrows shift up.
- Anger/anger: eyes narrow, eyebrows draw together, and the forehead is furrowed.
- Doubt: the look is concentrated, but the eyes are restless, because the listener is reflecting at the same time if he can believe what is being said. Depending on one’s posture regarding what is being said, the eyebrows may be raised in disbelief or knit together in irritation.
- Fear: Eyes also widen in fear; at the same time, the pupils open wide in order to perceive all possible details of the threat.
If you want to learn how to read body language correctly, it is best to pay attention to the pupils. They are especially treacherous, as their movements cannot be controlled consciously, yet they clearly reflect emotions. Thus, the pupils dilate when we feel joy or other positive stimuli and narrow when we feel fear or aversion.
Gestures
Neuroscientists have discovered that the areas of the brain responsible for memory and thought processing are adjacent to the area that manages gestures. This explains why some people gesture when they talk even when they are on the phone and no one can see them. Gestures are used in these cases to order thoughts, establish references and remember correctly. Thus, these are processes that are carried out unconsciously and that must be clearly differentiated from the deliberate and acquired gestures of speakers, politicians or actors.
Additionally, we find the gestures that we have learned throughout our lives and that serve to emphasize our oral expressions:
- Welcome: widely spread arms that lead to a hug, or a greeting with a hand outstretched from afar are a sign of joy at the arrival of a person.
- Defense: crossed arms with raised palms directed towards the person in front of us serve to protect themselves. They indicate that the other person should not approach.
- Anger: A hand clenched into a fist indicates that someone is trying to control themselves. If he gets up, it is understood as a violent threat.
- Calm the situation: the position of the hands is the same as in the defensive position, but the arms are not crossed, but are close to the body. With this gesture we try to calm someone down and show that they have nothing to fear from us.
- Helplessness / ignorance: when someone no longer knows what to do in a situation, they express it by shrugging their shoulders repeatedly.
These are just a few examples that show how the gestures of our hands are used on a day-to-day basis to express certain messages. This way of reading body language is used in the same way by all people in a cultural circle.
Body posture and movement
Body posture clearly indicates the emotional state of a person. It is rightly said that a happy person seems to float, while sad people rather than walk drag their feet with their shoulders slumped and their heads bowed. And you can also guess a person’s self-confidence through their body posture. When a boss rushes through the office with his chin up, chest puffed out, and stride wide, it’s clear that he’s aware of his role and that he defines himself as a leader. On the other hand, hasty and nervous movements, such as pulling little clothes or hair, or swinging the feet quickly while sitting on the edge of the chair, indicate insecurity and give the impression that the person wants to flee the situation.
Motion
The examples given above show that body posture and movement cannot be separated from each other in practice. A certain body posture requires a certain type of movement. It is very unlikely that a person with an upright body posture that shows pride walks in a timid way, or that a person who walks down the street in a shrunken and slumped way walks with long steps.Also, there are certain movements that offer direct messages. This category includes, for example, exceeding an appropriate distance between two people. The moment from which we will find ourselves uncomfortable depends a lot on the person in front of us. In general, we allow acquaintances we like to get close to a relatively short distance. In the case of strangers, but especially superiors, a certain distance shows respect. If someone gets too close, it can be threatening or demeaning. In either case, this is a boundary violation that will rarely elicit a positive reaction.
